Saturday, August 18, 2007

Listen lady, I don't want to hit you with the pram anymore than you want to be hit by it!

I have to get this off my chest, it's been bugging me for quite a while now. Even before I had a kid in a pram of my very own.

So today at Westfields (big mistake, I should confine myself to never leave the house on weekends, apparently), I didn't lose my temper when:

a) The first lady stopped right in front of the escalator while I back peddaled to try not to hit her.
b) When another lady did the same thing.
c) When people going the same direction almost wandered into me
d) When I was constantly cut off
e) When I couldn't get into the lift because it was jam packed full of people who could have taken the escalator, or at least someone could have gotten out to let the person in the wheelchair in
f) When people walking towards me walked into me, couldn't work out where they were walking (I'm walking in a straight line here, people, it's not hard).
g) When the people in front of me suddenly stopped or slowed down so much I wanted to punch them in the head.

p, q, r, s, t!!!!!!!)

No. Didn't lose my temper at all. Was very good, you all would have been so proud.

But I did express some frustration, when the two Little Misses with their 80's rocker hairstyles, arse cracks and ughboots, cut me off, then slowed right down and I had to pull up so I wouldn't hit them, I had nowhere to go to get around them. It went down like this:

Me: "Oh, come on!" (Hardly a John McEnroe tantrum, no really, I was just exasperated at this point and it was almost a breathed sigh)
Little Miss Bumcrack glared then slowed to walk beside me, with her be-ughed grrlfraynd still moseying along infront of the pram "Well, you could have said "Excuse me", you know and been polite about it at least!"
Me: "I could have sworn at you, but that would have been impolite, you guys could at least watch where you are walking".
LMB "Redneck".

Yes. That's right. I'm a redneck apparently. I wasn't the one in the ughs, honey. And I'm slightly more classy than to show my arse-crack in public. Nice comeback, sweetheart (which is what I thought, after the whole thing happened. Tch! Hate that!)

And I almost stopped, handed them the pram and said "Fine. You navigate your way around a mall full of idiots then". But I didn't, because I was pretty cranky and it was time for me to go and be somewhere else before I gave them both a bitch-slap to the head, so I just twitched, sucked it up and walked off.

Redneck. Hmph...

Another time, I was in the lift, which was quite packed and this woman turned to me and told me I shouldn't be out in public. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was dressed appropriately, my hair wasn't offensive that day and I didn't smell, so I couldn't work it out. But of course, she meant the pram, Persmonster and I shouldn't be occupying space in the lift. Luckily, it was time for me to get out and I didn't have to be trapped in a confined space with yet another idiot, else otherwise, she too, would have received a bitch-slap to the head.

Call me old fashioned, but I've always been the type-o-gal who will hold doors open for people with prams, help them up stairs/onto trains and generally have enough nouse to stay the hell out of the way and be aware of my surroundings enough not to wander aimlessly into someone's pram.

So is it just me or is the population saturation of idiots on the climb? Is that across the board, or is it just Parramatta?

Oh and LMB if you read this? You should get your roots touched up, honey.


fliss said...

Oh how I sympathise... and then when you have a walking child you have all the joy of them continualy doing it to you! "Don't stand in the doorway - get in or out!", "Don't push past on the stairs!" and "Look where you are going" are probably the 3 most yelled directions in our house...

There is hope... you can get them to practise what do do going through doorways.

And yes, Parra Westfield on the weekends is particularly irritating and to be avoided at almost all costs (unless you are there really, really early).

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

I hate Parra W/fields with a passion. I remember when it was about 1/5 the size and whole lot better-mannered but that was several generations ago and in an alternate reality, it would seem. mind you, it was still full of Westies, and I say that will having grown up out there so don't call me a snob (much).

so you've got my vote on taking the next parra scrag by the hair and throwing her across the path of your pram.

or, you know, whatever seems best at the time ;)

Mindy said...

I so know what you mean. Next time, just bitch slap. Let it all out. How dare someone say that you shouldn't be out in public. My God what a cow.