Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Contraception - Pope's got it all wrong.

You know, with the evening I have just had with Persmonster, I am currently asking myself why, for the love of little bunnies, did we not use some form of contraception about 11 weeks ago.

Hey Mindy, you must have had moments like these, did they all happen in the SAME evening???

It started with "Look Mummy!" and then she showed me the blue texta she found and the artwork on the kitchen wall. [1]

So then we have a bath and she gives me the loveliest back and neck soap massage and washes my hair. Isn't she cute? I'm going to recommend a career in massage. She's good!

Finished it off with a razorblade skin scrub. I have cuts all over my back now. They sting.[2]

So then I get out of the bath and dry off, try to fix myself up a bit. In the meantime, she has thrown a toilet roll into the bathtub. Nice. Papier mache, anyone?

and... manages to get into my cosmetics bag and find my folate tablets and get the lid off the bottle. They taste yucky, apparently (which is a Very Good Thing). [3]

At the same time, she found the mini travel tub of sudocream (also in my cosmetics bag). It was all over her and some of the bathroom. She came out to me painted in it, asking for cuddles when I growled at her. She also managed to smear it on the mirror in the entryway after I chased her through the house, trying to catch her and stick her back in the bathtub, before the bathtub emptied. It emptied.

Then she refused to go to her bed and went to mine instead (again with the cuddles). But I notice now she has just gone back to her own bed.

Oh and she let the hamster out of his cage. He just came over to visit me. I guess he wanted a cuddle too.

So by now you're probably all thinking I'm an irresponsible parent to leave all these interesting, but dangerous things just lying around the house.

Why, yes, of course I am hoping my child will top herself. GET REAL, WHO ARE YOU KIDDING???

[1] Where the hell did that blue texta come from anyway??? Last time I saw it, it had fallen down the back of the oven. Ayi????? (she's efficient, I'll give her that!)
[2] It was a 'safety' razor, hidden under a pile of magazines and books. Ayi must have dislodged it this morning and I didn't notice. Didn't notice Pers had it either because I couldn't feel the cuts until I went to rinse the soap off (thought she was using one of her toys to make patterns on my back).
[3] She pulled up a stool to get to it while I was in my bedroom, drying off and inspecting my wounds. I am really running out of hidey holes for everything...

So... still want to have us around when we come home???

(This is crossposted to my LJ)


Mindy said...

Ow, ow,ow, ow, ow,ow ow ow.

Gem has never played with a razor blade, more good luck than good management. She has however alternated being a complete shit with being a complete angel. We also had the 'what were we thinking thoughts' a few times while pregnant with her too and facing a Char tantrum. But at least you can love them more when they are asleep.
Congratulations on the 'will be here in about 6 months' arrival. I thought that cheese comment (on Baggy's blog) was suspicious!

Wenchilada said...

Yes. Sleep is when she is at her absolute best ;)

Yeah, I figured soft cheeses is always a big enough hint... thanks ;)